


void

by eerian_sadow



Series: hurt-comfort bingo [3]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: hc_bingo, Community: ladiesbingo, Gen, Ladies Bingo, aloneness, hurt comfort bingo, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eerian_sadow/pseuds/eerian_sadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alone, she drifts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	void

**Author's Note:**

> written for the 2013 round of hurt comfort bingo, filling my free space and using the prompt "trapped between realities", and doing double duty to cover my "Worst case scenario" square for the 2013 round of ladiesbingo.
> 
> a brief "what if Pete hadn't saved Rose?" scene.

She drifted, someplace--somewhen? she wasn't even sure what word to use to describe this--outside reality. She was alone, though she knew the Daleks and the Cybermen where herein the Void somewhere. She thought perhaps she was cold, but there wasn't enough real world left to tell her. She knew reality should be noisy, because life made noise no matter how quiet it was being, but there was only silence. She couldn't even determine if she still had a hand to hold in front of her face, because she felt like she didn't have any body at all.

Not that it mattered. There was no ground and it was so, so dark.

She hoped the Doctor wasn't here with here. She hoped he had lived and that he would go on helping people and being wonderful and that he wouldn't miss her for too long. He would go mad in this place, this no where and no when that had no sound and no light. 

Of course so would she, but for her it would take longer. Right now she was still learning the Void, learning what was real here and what was not--if anything at all was. She was still learning if _she_ was still real, or just a memory locked away in the Doctor' head and the TARDIS' heart. When she knew the Void, when she knew if she was truly alone here or if the other prisoners here were just scattered about in the nothingness, then the grief and madness would creep in.

When she had nothing left to distract her, then she would go insane.

She needed to know if she could talk, so she tried counting. Something simple and easy that would give results right away, and she thought she heard herself, but when she reached one hundred, she realized she was probably only hearing her voice in her head because there didn't seem to be any real sound. There didn't even seem to be air for her to breathe. 

Movement came next, though she felt certain she had tried already. She couldn't tell if she was moving, though, because she couldn't feel her body and the darkness didn't change. She tried anyway, again and again for what seemed like hours, until she wanted to cry at her failure.

It was only a want, because she didn't have a body and she couldn't cry.

_Doctor, please be all right. Please don't be here, going through this too. Please be safe._

She thought about her Mum and Mickey, safe on Pete's world and was grateful. They would never have to live this horror--or not live it or however things worked in the Void. They were warm and had air and food and each other and would never know that she wasn't off having adventures with the Doctor and saving the universe. It was better that way. They could slip into their doubles' lives and never know that she was lost forever. They could be happy.

She tried to curl in on herself and not think about what their happiness cost her.


End file.
